I was scrolling through social media this past weekend when a friends post caught my eye. I quickly skimmed over it and kept scrolling. Then I stopped and back tracked. Wow, I thought… I can really relate to this. In a social media crazed world where it seems everyone but you is hitting that next “PR” I loved the reminder this simple message offered.
We’re constantly being faced with all of the things we aren’t doing (good enough, fast enough, “enough enough”) and this message was one to the contrary. It offered an opportunity for REFLECTION. That’s an opportunity that I don’t make time for often enough. When I find myself unhappy or getting too caught up in the hustle of life I try to stop myself and focus my attention to a couple of key areas that for me, either inhibit or encourage the moments of positive reflection that we all need:
SELF TALK – I’ll be the first to admit, I’m extremely hard on myself. I always have been and I probably always will be. I know there are many of you reading who can relate. Don’t get me wrong, that’s not necessarily a bad thing. My own internal “tough talk” has gotten me through many different situations in life, pushed me to reach goals I may not have otherwise reached and made me a better person for it. However, when that internal talk is nothing but “tough” it takes a toll, whether you’re conscious of it or not.
PERSONAL TIMELINES – I have a very forward thinking mind. When I was 13, I had the next decade planned out. How did that go? Ha, unsurprisingly, not exactly as planned… and thank goodness. How could I have possibly known what would make me happy now at that age? I’m not saying some don’t, but I sure didn’t… no matter how confident I was that I did.
Do I still try to nail down the details of everything I do ridiculously far in advance? Yeah, pretty consistently. I’m constantly thinking and planning ahead. But I do so with an acquired awareness that things may not go as planned and that’s ok. It has to be.
Goals will change as they often do. Thinking ahead is a wonderful habit to form but if you’re not careful, on your quest to be the next “best” you’ll forget to pause and appreciate the NOW. The now is all we really have, that’s where life is actually happening.
AWARENESS – When’s the last time you stopped and looked around? How many times do you walk into a place you’ve been countless times and notice something for the very first? Stop and think about that. Awareness can come in many forms. Dealing with health issues has increased my awareness exponentially… especially on an internal level. That can be a good thing or that can be a bad thing, depending on how you allow it to take hold. The combination of being a woman and living/traveling on my own has increased my awareness of my surroundings. Having children and pets increases awareness in yet another way.
Awareness can paralyze you or it can open you up to the world outside. The choice is yours. If you allow yourself to grow from it, then the more aware you are the more prepared you’ll be to recognize the small victories and appreciate them for what they truly are – not in comparison to everyone else – but in respect to the work it took to reach them and how far you have come. Outside recognition is always nice but not all victories are met with cheers and accolades and not all need to be. The personal ones are often the most meaningful.
It hits me at random times. It could be a song, a smell, a place… I’ll stop and I’ll look around or I’ll pause and I’ll reflect. Old memories, old friends, old goals and dreams will flood in. In those moments I think back to the me of “yesterday”… the me of last month, last year and beyond. I smile and continue on. I am a better person for all that I’ve been through. I’ve grown in so many ways as a daughter, a sister, a friend, a human being.
Take a pause… stop what you’re doing and reflect a moment. Acknowledge the path you’ve tread and the miles you’ve navigated. Allow yourself a moment of peace and appreciation. You’ve come far my friend. Continue on.